twotothree

No time, there's no time!  My parents are here, turning my garage into a dining room.  So you know what that means!  Bulleted-form!

*  Word on the street is that you lose tons of hair post-partum.  Word on the street is true.  I'm shedding more than both of my dogs combined.  My bed is a nest of red human hair.

*  Parenthood destroys your ability to follow to-do lists.  I've always been a fanatic about making lists, but now I make them and can never cross anything off.  This leads me to write things like, "brush my teeth" and "get up in the morning" on my to-do list, just so I can feel like I'm accomplishing something.

*  People love to tell you that your baby is beautiful.  I find this to be a really awkward statement, especially since they seem to wait for a response afterward.  What do you say to that?  Thank you?  But that sounds like, "Yeah, my egg and my husband's sperm are phenomenal."

* Sometimes, late at night, I can't stop worrying about what I would do in a zombie apocalypse now that we have a baby.  Before I only had to worry about Mike and I, and we're adults who can (mostly) care for ourselves.  Now there's a helpless baby in the picture and I lie awake for hours at night thinking about what I would do if such a thing were to happen.